Healthy relationships are vital to thriving in life. We were created to form life-giving, meaningful, and deep connections with other people. It's just how we are wired as human beings, and we all need these bonds to be our best. God said it best, "It is not good for man to be alone."
One of the things that the Lord showed me years ago was that the principle of sowing and reaping is not just a financial principle, it's a Kingdom principle. It's a universal law, just like gravity, and it works with every area of life, including relationships.
If you're not actively sowing into relationships in your life, then I guarantee you're not reaping those healthy relationships and healthy interactions you need to thrive in life. We've got to intentionally cultivate the relationships we want in our life. And so, I want to give you a few tips that I've learned over the years that have helped me grow in my relationship with God, with others, and in my life as a kingdom person.
#1 – Speak to Their Design
God has a design and a purpose for every person on the planet, whether they're a believer yet or not, and whether they believe and embrace their divine design or not. God loves to speak to His people's purpose, even when they aren't living up to their full potential.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)
Let's face it; we tend to react to others based on what we see happening in their lives, what they are demonstrating. Brokenness, bad-habits, and unhealthy choices are easy to see and even easier to point out in others. But that's not the way of the Kingdom. We have to look at others through the eyes of the Spirit to see past their current situation and speak into destiny.
In the verse above, God sent Jeremiah to speak life, destiny, and purpose to a group of isolated Israelites who were exiled because of a lifetime (actually several lifetimes) of brokenness. God's desired connection with His people, and in this example, He modeled one way to sow into relationships.
Here's What I Said On My Podcast About This:
#2 - Pull the Gold Out of Others
As we learn to see others from God's point of view, we begin to recognize their purpose and are in a position to bless their design. Think about where Gideon was when the Lord called him a "Mighty Warrior." Gideon couldn't see it at the time, but God acknowledged and blessed Gideon's divine design and purpose in that declaration.
Approaching relationships with the goal of seeing the best, or “the gold”, in others is a great place to start. But turning your attention towards and sowing into the best in others is vital to cultivate those healthy, authentic connections you're seeking.
#3 Don't Wait, Initiate
It's frustrating to be the one that always has to ask their friends out. Face it, we all love it when we get invited out to lunch after church or get asked to come over and hang out. It's an unspoken message that says, "Hey, you are someone I want to spend time with."
But what do you do when those invites aren't happening on a regular basis? Take a step. Ask the Holy Spirit:
Here's the thing: If you always wait on others to sow into you, a lot of times you'll be waiting a long time. And the enemy will spin that into offense, isolation, and the lie that something is wrong with you.
As you step out of your shell and begin to initiate instead of wait, bless others according to their design, and actively pull the gold out of their lives, you'll start to see incredible fruit coming forth in your relationships. By sowing into others, you'll become the person people want to be around.
By speaking into the divine design of others, looking for the best in them and initiating relationships you become a beautiful conduit through which God will release His Kingdom, not only in the lives of others but in your life, too. Remember, Proverbs 11:25 says”
“A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.”
Thanks for reading! Comment below to let me know how you’re cultivating intimacy with others. Together, we can be used by God to change the culture around us for His Glory.
Matt Tommey is an artist, author and mentor who is passionate about empowering artists to thrive spiritually, artistically and in business.