In the early days of my Christian journey, I found myself armed with nothing more than a new leather study Bible and a heart full of hope, stepping into a faith that seemed straightforward enough.

Like many, I followed the path laid before me by others, adhering to the rules, avoiding overt sin, and hoping that one day, God’s plan for my life would crystallize before my eyes. Yet, amidst the traditions I’d always known, a deep-seated feeling of discontent lingered—a disconnect between the promises I read in the scriptures and the reality I observed around me and within my own life.

This discontent stems from what I’ve come to identify as “The Great Disconnect,” a pervasive issue that I believe is among the greatest challenges facing the church today. It’s a chasm that separates believers from the vibrant, abundant life Jesus promised—a life marked by signs, wonders, fulfillment, provision, and impactful relationships. It’s caused many people to leave the church and for some, even their faith in Christ. But this disconnect isn’t usually due to a lack of faith or effort on the part of believers. Rather, it’s influenced by church traditions, societal norms, personal struggles, and, most significantly, misconceptions about faith.

The Influence of Societal Norms

Today’s societal norms often stand in stark contrast to the principles of the Kingdom. The relentless pursuit of success, the glorification of busyness, and the emphasis on material wealth can lead believers to feel inadequate or unfulfilled. This societal pressure creates a backdrop against which our faith is tested, often leading to a diluted version of Christianity that prioritizes appearance over authenticity. Add to that the antiquated and often controlling way many churches operate and it’s no wonder people feel paralyzed and unfulfilled in their walk with Christ.

Personal Struggles and Misconceptions

Personal struggles further complicate our connection with God’s plan. Our battles with sin, doubt, and failure can create a sense of unworthiness, leading many to believe that the abundant life Jesus spoke of is reserved for a select few. This belief is compounded by misconceptions about faith—that it’s a solitary journey of perfection rather than a communal walk marked by grace and growth.

Moreover, the church, in its quest to navigate these modern challenges, can inadvertently contribute to the disconnect. A focus on ritual over relationship, dogma over discipleship, and performance over presence can leave believers feeling disillusioned and disheartened.

Why People Leave Churches

The departure from churches, a trend increasingly observed across the globe, isn’t a sudden impulse but a response to a profound disillusionment. Many believers, despite their dedication and active participation in church activities, find themselves wandering in a spiritual desert, thirsting for an authentic encounter with the Kingdom of God. This exodus is not rooted in a rejection of faith but in a quest for something more—something that resonates with the depth of their spirit. U

The Unfulfilled Promises and the Shift from Being to Doing

One of the core reasons people step away from the church (and some, even their faith in Christ) is the gap between the promises made and their fulfillment. Many have stood on the church’s porch, hearing the dinner bell of salvation and abundance ring loud, only to find that the feast doesn’t live up to its advertisement. This gap between proclamation and reality breeds distrust, leaving many to question the authenticity of the church’s message.

The church, in many instances, has shifted its focus from fostering a deep, personal relationship with God to maintaining a checklist of religious activities. This emphasis on doing over being has led many to feel like mere participants in a religious routine rather than active, empowered members of the Kingdom of God. The Gospel of the Kingdom is not just a “come and see” invitation but a “go and tell” mandate. However, when the church focuses more on drawing people into services than on equipping them to carry the Kingdom into their daily lives, it creates spectators rather than disciples.

Consumer Christianity and the Quest for Authenticity

The rise of consumer Christianity, where services and sermons are tailored to entertain rather than transform, has left many yearning for genuine encounters with God’s presence. This consumer mindset, coupled with a longing for prophetic words and emotional experiences, has overshadowed the call to mature discipleship and Kingdom living. As a result, both believers and non-believers struggle to see the relevance of the modern church in embodying the life and teachings of Jesus.

The Call to Mobilize

The church stands at a crossroads, tasked with the crucial mission to mobilize believers, equipping them to live out their unique design and Kingdom assignments. This mobilization is not just about active service within the church walls but about releasing the transformative power of the Kingdom into every sphere of life. As believers are empowered to walk in their God-given identity and purpose, the church will not only grow in numbers but in depth, impact, and authenticity.

The departure from churches is a wake-up call, urging us to return to the heart of the Gospel—a Gospel that empowers, transforms, and mobilizes every believer to be an ambassador of the Kingdom. As we embrace this call, we will see lives changed, communities transformed, and the church revitalized, reflecting the vibrant, life-giving reality of God’s Kingdom on earth.

In conclusion, the journey towards reconnecting with the Kingdom is not one of perfection but of perseverance, faith, and an open heart to the transformative power of God’s love and grace. For those feeling the weight of this disconnect, I extend an invitation to explore these themes more deeply in my book, “God’s Plan for Living: A Simple Roadmap for Your IDEAL Life,” available on Amazon in various formats. This book is not just a resource but a companion for your journey towards a more authentic, fulfilling faith experience. Discover the roadmap to a life aligned with God’s Kingdom, and step into the abundant life that Jesus promised—a life beyond the great disconnect.


25 responses to “The Great Disconnect: Why People Are Leaving Christianity”

  1. Jay Walden Avatar
    Jay Walden

    Thank. you for this, Matt…I’m a pastor of a small church in So. Cal and know a young man (late 40’s) who has “walked away” from the church….my heart breaks for him…he claims he has “disconnected”…..thank you for helping me understand and I am praying for him and the church God has given me to serve…I want my church “ready” for the coming of Jesus!
    Jay Waldeh

    1. gary Avatar
      gary

      Imagine exploring a primitive forest in a third world country. You come across the village of a small group of indigenous people. They tell you about their customs including stories about their god, the gum tree in the center of the village. They ask you if you believe in the gum tree god. You politely respond that you do not. The villagers shake their heads and look at you with pity.

      “You do not believe in the gum tree god because you lack sufficient knowledge, “ they inform you.

      Silly, right? You don’t need to know anything about the gum tree god to know this belief is nonsense.

      Ditto for Christian superstitions. When a Christian apologist, pastor, or theologian tells you that you do not possess sufficient knowledge to understand the complexities of Christian doctrine and teachings, such as the Trinity, the Incarnation, or the Indwelling of the Holy Ghost, your response should be the same:

      I do not need to know the complexities of Christian superstitions before labeling them as nonsense.

  2. David Avatar
    David

    Just read your post–and I have to say that though many people leave for the reasons you listed, many more ARE leaving because we don’t think that the claims of the Bible hold any water. Using a SuperGod whose mind can’t be known (and that’s the first line of defense for Christians who push back against those who are deconverting). The more you analyze and look for reasoning and search outside of the Bible, the more you realize that there are huge, unbelievable/ irreconcilable fissures in the theology of the Bible.

    1. Noel Avatar
      Noel

      Dear David,
      The point you raised concerning the credibility of the Bible is very important. That has accounted for a lot of disconnect. Nevertheless, it’s a factor of teaching and misconstruction. The Bible became more meaningful to me when my eyes were opened to the fact that the Old Testament is a shadow of the New Testament and that most of the stories are signs and symbols. No wonder,even Christ before his resurrection spoke in signs and symbols. It’s not everything in the Bible that’s is literal. Until you are privileged to go through the teaching that engender discernment, the Bible will not make sense. And again, most things said in the New Testament are futuristic, but without the power of discernment, you will not understand. I will be glad if given the opportunity to shed some light on those portions you don’t seem to agree with. Shalom

      1. Amy Carman Avatar
        Amy Carman

        I just wanted to say that I agree with your response to Noel about the Bible.

      2. LD Avatar
        LD

        Instead of patronizing, you might want to read the Bible critically. God can handle critical analysis. Over 80% of the NT is forged. The synoptic gospels (Matthew, Mark, & Luke) are false gospels. Their false Christ never says “You must be born again.” They’re books plagiarized from one another. Only the Gospel of John is authentic.

        Same problem in Genesis. Genesis 1 is a 6 day creation. Male & female human beings are created instantaneously, simultaneously from one word spoken. They’re both created bodily from the ground last.

        But Genesis 2 is written by a 2nd author. It’s a 1 day creation. Man is created first apart from woman. Animals after man. Woman last. Obvious forgery. It’s a sexist false creation story that portrays woman as a body part a man owns as his body. Then woman is blamed for the fall.

        Forgeries written by a false Roman Pharisee then pillory women as “bad seed” who caused the fall! And who, created 2nd, are silenced subjugated slaves men own as bodies.

        Face it. The male dominated church is corrupt. Corrupt men just want to own a piece of *** and Paul “gives them that right”.

        There’s no real scholarship in the modern church. Men care only for their own creature comforts and have failed to purge the Canon of fake books and chapters.

        The organized church is satanic and Christians leave it for good reason. The true church is born again and can walk with God in personal relationship without Paul and his BAAL church.

      3. Ww Avatar
        Ww

        So, basically the Bible is esoteric and difficult to read and interpret and understand and apply for anybody that hasn’t been taught critical thinking that it is completely inaccessible to the standard person. That sounds like good teaching.

  3. Chris Avatar
    Chris

    I feel following Christianity was a huge mistake on my part . I feel that it’s just a bunch of promises that aren’t ever fulfilled. Some of the worst people in the world are Christian. I feel people can be much happier without Jesus. You may suffer some disappointments in life, but at least you don’t feel like you’ve been let down by someone. I think much of the Bible is crap. I’m glad I left this miserable nightmare behind.

    1. Matt Avatar
      Matt

      Hi Chris, Thanks for reading this post and sharing your thoughts today. I know many feel as you do and are wondering, “Is it/was it worth it?” I’ve been there myself. But I’ve come back to knowing that even in times when I felt like giving up on God, He never gave up on me. And I trust the same for you. Our doubt and frustration don’t repel God. He knows where you are and loves you. I pray for a fresh encounter with His presence today that would overwhelm and surprise you. I pray for joy and peace for you, my friend.

    2. Nicholas George Avatar
      Nicholas George

      Wha? Okay we all have been there but you gotta fear God. Fear hell. Fear the consequences of your own actions. If you don’t have any sins don’t worry. Unbelievable lack of faith on your part. Pray until you get an answer. He tests us all. Much of what you think is crap. If I were you I would want someone to say to me what I’m saying to you. “Faithful are the wounds of a friend.”

    3. Kristin Avatar
      Kristin

      Hi, Chris;

      I notice you said “following Christianity.” Perhaps “following Christ” would make a difference in how you perceive Jesus.

      There is an abundance of proof that Jesus rose from the dead. (The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel* is a good read.) From that fact, we can assume that everything he said is true.

      Jesus said that he is God and that he died for the forgiveness of sins of everyone for all time – regardless of whether they believe in him or not. Read that again; your sins are already forgiven. So are the sins of Jews, Muslims, Buddhists and even atheists.

      Your salvation has nothing to do with what you have done or have not done; Jesus took care of that. The only criterion is that you have faith in him.

      And even faith is not something you can generate by yourself; it is the free gift of the Holy Spirit. You may have been told you have to choose Christ, but that is impossible. The closest we can come, I think is to not reject faith.

      I think it is amazing that our salvation is 100% God’s doing: The Father made the plan, the Son carried it out, and the Holy Spirit spreads it around.

      I don’t know what promises were not fulfilled for you, but this one is sure: “God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son so that whoever believes in him will not die, but will have eternal life.” John 3:16

      Lord, hold Chris in your loving arms. Give him faith and the assurance that he will spend eternity in heaven through the sacrifice of Jesus as his Savior. Amen.

      *Strobel was an investigative reporter and atheist who essentially set out to disprove the Resurrection. The results of his research led him to believe.

      1. CP Avatar
        CP

        Jesus, God, and the Devil are fictional and created by men. Christianity is dying and I’m so excited. Evolution is REAL and has been scientifically proven. There is no evidence of Jesus or God.

      2. Christine Walker Avatar
        Christine Walker

        This is the biggest part I don’t understand. Many many people have sacrificed, themselves to die or to more torture than done to Jesus. They’ve made these sacrifices to protect children and people that they know and love or don’t even know. They do this with no thought to themselves, the future, of God. They do it from their hearts. Jesus Knew he would be saved and live eternally. He Knew why he was being tortured and murdered. He Knew it would be temporary. Those “mortals” volunteer to suffer altruistically without knowing there is life after. These people are more heroic to me than Jesus by far.

      3. Darren Avatar
        Darren

        Inspiration, I think that a lot of people become disillusioned by what they see and experience in their lives, instead of thinking of Jesus as their personal guardian, someone that they can talk to whenever they’re in the mood.
        Of course when we see people waving crossed and clutching the Bible while literally judging everyone around them, that’s certainly enough to leave a bad taste in anyone’s mouth but one should think to themselves as ask themselves “I wonder what Jesus would say if he were staying here seeing these people acting almighty.” We might expect to see Jesus laugh and shake his head, he might utter the words hypocrite but regardless of Jesus’ reaction, he would undoubtedly say that if you are bothered by their acts, don’t do as they do! It’s as simple as that, look at the actions of others as lessons, they don’t need to be overly analyzed, just ask yourself what the message might be and move on to the next lesson.
        Jesus has a special place in the hearts of all believers so don’t compare yourself to others, Jesus loves you uniquely, he is your special Lord and Savior.

  4. Nana Avatar
    Nana

    I stumbled across your blog and was interested in your views as I have left the church/religious Christianity, without regret. I was bewildered by your comments, to be honest. The reason I left the church was because of the required performance concept. I was not looking for promises for my well-being and proof of power, but to shed them for the purity and simplicity of the Gospel.
    It sounds to me as if you are trying to chase after what empowers you in the here and now, and have lost the purpose of the Gospel, which is to be in Christ as He is in us – not filled with power to act, but power to love, accept, encourage, share Christ when the opportunity comes, etc.
    You stated: “The departure from churches is a wake-up call, urging us to return to the heart of the Gospel—a Gospel that empowers, transforms, and mobilizes every believer to be an ambassador of the Kingdom. As we embrace this call, we will see lives changed, communities transformed, and the church revitalized, reflecting the vibrant, life-giving reality of God’s Kingdom on earth.”
    I heartily disagree. The heart of the Gospel is not empowering us to change lives, transform communities or revitalize the church. The world is not going to change because Christians become super beings or “little Christs”. Lives are changed because of the Holy Spirit’s intervention with the desire to turn to Jesus as Savior, of which we can be used or not. The purpose of being in Christ is to love, to be kind, to show mercy, to help, to give support … it is simple, not complex, not laden with “promises of empowerment, signs and wonders, etc”.
    You are teaching an inward glorification, not an outward one. The miracles of Christ were to prove that He is God, that He is the Christ, the Messiah/Savior, to save from sin and give eternal life. His miraculous works are the WITNESS of who He is, not the example of how to be a good follower – His example was love. Simple, fulfilling love. Which is what He preached, as did all the writers of the NT. The apostles, only, were given the power to do great miracles as a WITNESS to Christ after He ascended to Heaven. They were not given powers to prove to us that we can do the same thing.
    Personally, I would never want to go back again to be under an “empowered” edict. All that came of it was deep deception and a focus on ME and what I could, not on Jesus, what He has done, and brought us into His Kingdom now and for all eternity. His Kingdom is not of this world. Nothing I can do or cannot do, is dependent on that glorious, eternal promise.

  5. Garloo Avatar
    Garloo

    Still waiting for a theist to give me a single DEMONSTRABLE difference between their god and a made-up BS god that doesn’t exist. If you don’t have that, your god is a made-up BS god that doesn’t exist.

    1. Nicholas George Avatar
      Nicholas George

      The difference is our God answers prayers.

      1. Xan Avatar
        Xan

        Pretty much every study done on prayer has shown prayer doesn’t work. Heck, in the test groups that know they are being prayed for but don’t get better, it’s common for them to get even worse because they like God doesn’t care.

        Please provide some real evidence for your claim

  6. C P Avatar
    C P

    Although your perspective is interesting, it falsely explains the real reason young adult females are turning into nonbelievers. As a white female millennial, I have always felt a sense of subjugation by the church. Christianity is all about male dominance and female submission. It teaches from a young age that females are to become mothers and to serve their families and husbands as the caregivers. However, Christianity is beginning to recognize that modern women have more rights and freedoms than ever before. Male Christians are afraid of this because they were told from a young age that their sole purpose is to have a family and provide for their family. Hence the reason why Christians now more than ever are trying to force their ideology for patriarchy and the nuclear family more aggressively in America. Christianity in America is a joke because American Christians tend to pick and choose their “Christian” values. Love thy neighbor and help the poor (but only if they are heterosexual and legal American citizens). Then there is the whole issue regarding the overturning of Roe vs. Wade and project 2025. People are tired of being divided and want to be united regardless of race, citizenship status, sexual orientation, whether they want to be married or single, etc. Until American Christianity takes a big look at itself and recognizes these red flags, more and more people will turn away from Christianity.

  7. A Carman Avatar
    A Carman

    I came across this post and it really saddens me that so many people that claim Christianity have walked away. It’s not about a religion anymore. We need a personal relationship with Jesus Christ to understand His teachings and help us find a Biblical church that actually explains why we believe the way we do. The “meat and potatoes” of scripture should be taught in the church we attend. There’s still pastors that claim to know the Bible but they are actually wolves in sheeps clothing. There’s false prophets and false teachers everywhere so we need to pray for the discernment to only see the truth that’s in the Bible. The Bible does say in the end times that it will be harder to discern the truth because evil will try to take over. God wins!!!

  8. Mary Lamb Avatar
    Mary Lamb

    I tried Christianity but the promises of divine help never came. I’ve also noticed that despite the talk of “transformation” in being bron-again, nobody changed for the better and in fact they got worse. Christianity is not for everyone. Within two years I noticed it wasn’t for me. Seventh Day Adventism worked for my grandmother. Catholicism works for my mother. I have been introduced to Buddhism but if it’s not for me I will switch to being nothing but a person focused on reality and facts and this life.

  9. I am Avatar
    I am

    Wow!!!!!

  10. BRETT GRAVES Avatar
    BRETT GRAVES

    It is up to us to search our hearts and most answers that are recieved through the heart are god speaking to us. It is up to us to help others in need and comfort the lost. We must thank god for a new day every day and thank him again before sleep.
    Remember god is always with us even in the most troubled times and faith takes practice.
    Love to all in Christ
    Brother Brett

  11. Sissi Avatar
    Sissi

    I left christianity because of fakes promises and because it has some toxic doctrines. Many of those leaving religion behind suffer of religious traumatic syndrom. Why do some christians commit suicide when God promises to deliver the righeous from all his troubles (Psalm 34) ? Leaving can be a long process but I feel much better today. I recommend you to watch Marlene Winell on youtube or read her book “leaving the fold” she is psychologist and describes well the damages of fundamentalist christianity. Unanswered prayers when you are in distress is one of many red flags of christianity, violence in old testament when God kill innocent people or new born in Egypt… I would have a lot to say about this horrible religion.

  12. Annette Mazzone Avatar
    Annette Mazzone

    ​Your article, “The Great Disconnect: Why People Are Leaving Christianity,” offers a profound and insightful examination of the multifaceted challenges currently facing the church. By addressing the influence of societal norms, personal struggles, and misconceptions about faith, you shed light on the complex factors contributing to the disillusionment and departure of many believers. Your nuanced analysis not only identifies the core issues but also calls for a return to authentic, transformative discipleship that prioritizes relationship over ritual. This thoughtful discourse is invaluable for fostering a deeper understanding of the dynamics affecting contemporary faith communities.

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Author

Matt Tommey is an artist, author and mentor who is passionate about empowering artists to thrive spiritually, artistically and in business.